These MLB Umpires Are Really Getting Outta Hand

While the MLB calendar is quite full during the season, it might be time to schedule some sort of intervention with these rogue umpires.

Perhaps a date during the All-Star break can be agreed upon, because MLB umpires are losing their collective shit.

Sadly, this epidemic of infantile behavior from the man-children in blue seems to be picking up steam, with the latest example involving Bill Welke and his apparent nemesis Manny Machado.

Last Saturday in Colorado, the altitude combined with Welke's general incompetence appeared to wreak havoc with his strike zone, a sobering reality that frustrated several players on both sides, including the ill-fated Machado.

 

Just to be clear, a number of players from both teams had bitched about the strike zone before this at-bat, because Welke appeared to be umpiring out of a brown paper bag all night, similar to a wino.

Obviously, Manny was a bit miffed and an ejection was probably justified, although this one was pretty quick.

The San Diego Padre also received a one-game suspension, ostensibly for making contact with the fragile Welke, which he didn't appear to do anyway.

 

Apparently, justice has yet to be served, as the MLB Umpires Association and their delicate sensibilities decided to get all huffy and indignant via social media:

 

This statement is alarmingly delusional and just not in any way accurate, particularly in reference to the perceived violence and nonsensical mention of young fans.

 

All this nonsense will do is bring about the rise of the machines even sooner, as these flawed humans are clearly not up to the task.

There doesn't appear to be any accountability whatsoever while these hyper-sensitive umpires make spectacles of themselves and carry personal vendettas from game to game.

You know, like Bill Welke just did with Manny Machado.

 

It might just be time for the cold, calculated heart of an automated strike zone.

 

Currently, self-awareness isn't a job requirement for the human umps.