Angry White Dude: Time To Start Looking

For a few NFL teams, next season is here already.

It's become abundantly clear they need to start looking for their next starting QB right now

It's hardly a secret that slingers, without a doubt, occupy the most important position on the football field.

Following on, it's also not exactly a revelation that some serious turnover in the ranks is on the immediate horizon. And if it's not, it should be.

 

Why yes. Yes I am.

Perhaps a few of these names might shock you, or maybe you're just has smart as I am about sports!

 

Take heed, in no particular order ...

Bengals: Andy Dalton. Solid and respectable. Never won a playoff game. Bye, Red Rifle.

Broncos: Joe Flacco. Won a Super Bowl, but is clearly past his prime. Better start looking ASAP.

Redskins: Case Keenum. Really not much left to say here, if you get my drift. Let's see if Dwayne Haskins can play. We know Case can't.

 

Panthers: Cam Newton. Dude's more worried about what to wear than playing in the NFL, but he needs the money to keep buying all those clothes. Hurt all the time. Start the search.

Buccaneers: Jameis Winston. What's he ever done to think that he can get Bruce's Boys into the playoffs and then advance? Easy answer. Nothing.

Titans: Marcus Mariota. Always hurt, extreamly inconsistent. Better start looking. Now.

Raiders: Derek Carr. Do you think you'd pick him to QB your NFL team? Rhetorical question. The Raiders are already a mess, and Carr's a big part of it. Clean it up, Gruden. Now!

 

Lions: Mathew Stafford. Been there forever, skills not what they used to be. Lets face it. Detroit's undefeated in spite of him. Dude's never made the Lions better. As the Kinks sang, Who is the next in line?

Vikings: Kirk Cousins. Right. Is this dude really worth being one of the highest paid players in NFL history? It's like he got a deal from Publisher's Clearing House. Dude's 23-23 since 2016. The wad's been shot.

 

Saints: Drew Brees. OK, this one hurts. I love him. You love him. Hall of Famer in waiting. How many years does he have left? Not only does this hurt me now, he's hurt now. Time to plan for the future. Maybe they have. The time is now.

Chargers: Phillip RIvers. Another certain Hall of Famer. Elite slinger. Love him, but Father Time wants him! I'm not saying dude can't play at a high level anymore. I'm saying that, like the Saints, this crew's gotta start looking. Right now.

Patriots: Tom Brady. I'm so very sorry, but Gisele's right. The best ever! 6 rings. Playing great once again this year. But the signs are there. After all, if dude did this to his kid, you've gotta start thinking he's on the downhill slide. Then again, maybe he's the next Dorian Gray.

 

The Shield's next hot trend is before us:

Get your next dude right now.

He who hesitates will soon move from being in the front office to being in front of the studio cameras, offering an analyst's advice that he should've taken himself.