The BoogerMobile Has Officially Been Put out of Its Awkward Misery

Published on 4-May-2019 by Raoul Duke

Football - NFL    NFL Daily Update

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The BoogerMobile Has Officially Been Put out of Its Awkward Misery

When last reported, the BoogerMobile had been unceremoniously placed in a bunker somewhere in Bristol so it couldn't wreak any more havoc on the football public.

After careful deliberations, ESPN has decided to permanently pull the plug on this misguided experiment, ending the brief and pointless era of the BoogerMobile.

This decision was aided in part by the welcomed departure of Jason Witten from the MNF booth after one brutal season of attempted color commentary.

The brilliant analyst has returned to Dallas in his former capacity as a TE, a role he is infinitely more comfortable with.


This stroke of luck has created an opening, so the Mothership has decided to simply place Booger McFarland in the booth next to a probably relieved Joe Tessitore.

Of course, this was after ESPN tried and failed yet again to cajole Peyton Manning into joining the broadcast.

However, Papa John's best bud can still drop by the ESPY''s from time to time if he likes.


Meanwhile, we shudder at the thought of how the Worldwide Leader will repurpose the now-dormant alien technology of the BoogerMobile.

Perhaps they could strap that monstrous television screen to the back of Lisa Salters, who will be patrolling the sidelines on foot.


Well, that may not be the most practical use of her talents, although she probably won't obstruct as many views.