The Entire City of Philadelphia Implodes after Bryce Harper Spring Plunking

Published on 16-Mar-2019 by Raoul Duke

MLB    MLB Daily Update

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The Entire City of Philadelphia Implodes after Bryce Harper Spring Plunking

Those Philly fans sure are a fickle bunch, regardless of the sport in question.

Well, being real, they can be completely irrational, bordering on psychotic.

With legendary folk hero Bryce Harper safely in the fold until he reaches middle age, Phillies fans have embraced him as their own. 

Of course, they were telling him to screw off literally moments before he officially signed with the team and ended his lengthy courtship, but that's totally irrelevant now.

 

This deranged fanbase can't protect him from the whims of Mother Baseball though, so Harper is subject to the same risks as other mortal ballplayers.

You know, like absorbing a 96mph fastball in the ankle during a meaningless exhibition game:

 

Dude, that probably smarts a bit.

 

Predictably, the City of Brotherly Love and criminal overreaction sprung into action, using the perfect vehicle for such things.

 

That would be correct.

 

Yeah, that's not good.

 

Hey, that kinda reads like a threat.

 

Very little ambiguity there, either.

And here's a word from Trent Thornton, the most unfortunate Blue Jays pitcher who made the grievous error of missing his spot.

 

 

 

A perfectly reasonable statement of fact, except in Philly.

Oh, and the X-rays were negative, so Harper should be just fine for Opening Day.

 

Green Man wouldn't stand for this nonsense.