Extra Time: Super Eagles' Paycut Means Prostitutes Must Do the Job Again

Back in February, The Daily Player theorized the antidote for English footballing failure lay in the example set by Nigeria; or more specifically, the country's generous hookers.

Supplying an innovation greater than anything Adidas ever came up with, the Association of Nigerian Prostitutes' promised jobs for the boys, if the boys first did the job of winning the African Cup of Nations. They duly did and, as Monty Python once declared, there was much rejoicing. 

The euphoria, however, has now descended into a ruinous refractory period, culminating in the Super Eagles threat to boycott the upcoming Confederations Cup in Brazil. This followed a decision by the Nigerian Football Federation to slash the cash for World Cup qualifiers: players were each offered half of the standard five-grand bonus after a recent 1-1 draw with Namibia. The haircut comes on the back of other cost-cutting measures, including a reduction of ancillary staff from 17 to nine.

While the rumblings aren't morphing into a full-scale coup -- the team has promised to turn up Sunday and take part in the tourney -- the ill-feeling doesn't appear to have any immediate remedy.

Enter (ahem!) Nigeria's sex workers? Is a second benefits plan in the works to stop any further threat of a pull-out? 

Thus far, all attempts by The Daily Player to contact the Association of Nigerian Prostitutes have fallen short. We will continue to pursue the story, even if the restraining orders remain in place.