Croatia Pummels Error-Plagued Argentina

By now, anyone paying attention to international football knows the Vatreni -- Blazers -- are no joke.

Add that to the fact that La Albiceleste can never seem to get outta its own way internationally, and yet again, the joke's on them.

Croatia's tough enough of an opponent, but in this match, all they really needed to do was watch Argentina implode.

At least Lionel Messi avoided injury in the process, probably because he'd already disappeared.

 

In Nizhny Novgorod, Argentina fans had good reason to be apprehensive before kickoff. Then it got worse. Individual errors and a stunning Croatian second half soon made life rather difficult for Jorge Sampaoli's crew.

The first 45 minutes was a conservative tactical exercise, giving rise to the notion that this pivotal game would be one with few chances and where even a minor mistake could be fatal.

 

Both teams squandered good chances, though.

Enzo Pérez missed a golden opportunity from outside the box with an empty goal:

What's the latest clue La Albiceleste are low on mojo?

Soon thereafter, Mario Mandžukić missed a header in front of Willy Caballero:

As for the second half, Luka Modrić and Ivan Rakitić seemed to be much more inspired, always dangerous with the ball. Argentina could only counter with a poor-form Messi, who only took his first shot on target with after 64 minutes.

Prior to that, in the 53rd minute, after an absolute horror show from Caballero, Ante Rebić fired a half-volley that confirmed Christmas had come early for Croatia:

That's damn near a Darwin Award honorable menton.

It couldn't be an actual award because nothing died, but Argentina's World Cup chances would soon be on life support.

Dudes had no option then except to shift into full attack mode, so Croatia just waited for an opening to counter.

It came in the 80th minute, with a fantastic finish from outside the box from Modrić:

 

A bullet from the foot.

The Blazers struck with another counterattack in injury time. Rakitić found himself face-to-face with the goal. So he did what he's paid to do:

 

0-3, and Croatia's qualified for the knockout stage.

The situation's complicated for Argentina, who now need Nigeria to beat Iceland and then pour it on Nigeria themselves in their last Group D match.

Not impossible. Rumor has it that every now and then, someone actually recovers from life support.