Sooners Dodge Army Bullet; Hokies Take Direct Hit

The next thing you know, some smartass is gonna say Sparty got spanked down in the desert last week by Herm's hapless Sun Devils.

Wait. What?

Then again, after going north and playing Washington close -- who played Auburn close -- maybe Arizona State's not so hapless, after all.

 

Doesn't everybody always?

If there's ever a time when rankings are for amusement purposes only and big brands are to be doubted, it's September.

Here it is, Week 3 of the college season, and two more teams need to have their eyes clipped open ...

 

... and force-watch a loop of Nick Saban's pre-Cupcake Week warning he gives every damn season:

 

It works. Did Mercer even come close to the eventual national champions last year?

Success leaves clues, dudes.

Those are non-cons that satisfy the C-level for most Power Five teams' ABC scheduling format, where the B- and C-teams are supposed to be gimmes in the putting green of FBS life. But every now and then ...

 

The Oklahoma Sooners almost wet the bed against their B-team by giving it C-level attention.

Can't do that against Army. There are days when the Black Knights of the Hudson play like an A-level opponent. Toss in a laundry list of Okie brain farts, and a 35-28 overtime escape happens:

 

Was it a letdown after the Iowa State revenge game? It couldn't have been a trap game with Baylor next up.

Army's seldom-seen flexbone had something to do with it, of course. But c'mon, odds are the Sooners just had too much warm milk before curfew. Or someting.

 

In Virginia Tech's case, substitute aggressive laxative for warm milk.

The Hokies sleptwalked right into a good ol' Conference USA smackdown, compliments of that five-year-old FBS program at Old Dominon.

Where did Bud Foster's vaunted defense go in this 49-35 surprise?

 

Full marks to the Monarchs and backup slinger Blake LaRussa for playing the game of his life. Not a bad way to pick up their first win of the season.

That oughta make Liberty, Florida International, and Charlotte feel pretty good about themselves.

 

The feeling in Blacksburg -- and Norman, no doubt -- is presumably quite different.

Although, as they learned the hard way, it's not wise to assume anything.