Sterling on the Stand: He's the Grumpy Old Uncle You Never Wanted to Be Seen With in Public

Donald Sterling is being banned from the wrong sport.

He'd be putting the WWE to shame.

The bigoted billionaire's act hit the canvas this week, and it's hard to tell if he's trying to make his wife's case or his own.

Let's go to a real-life version of Rosanne Rosannadanna for an update, or something like that:

If that wasn't the best bit of embedded reporting since the war in Iraq, then it's truly become a lost art.

No need to get into the backstory. It's become this generation's version of OJ and the White Bronco. What's amazing is Sterling seems to be doing all this without a script, which is why the WWE would boot him.

And the concept that's really pegging the bizarro-o-meter is he's suing to keep former Microsoft mega-geek Steve Ballmer from paying his trust shiploads of dosh, the likes of which have never been ferried to a professional sports franchise before.

Hell, with a stance like that, the 1%ers of this world may ban him.

Riiight. It's like trying to understand time travel.

 

And there's so much to enjoy, in a schadenfreudian sort of way. Like this line from Sterling:

She deceived me. I trusted her. I never thought a wife wouldn’t stand for her husband.

Considering the point that Shelly didn't angle him into the comments he made to his latest mistress at the time, that assessment might be a tad harsh. As was this, not long afterward:

As Shelly prepared to follow him on the stand, she tried to approach him in the front row of the courtroom, and he went ballistic. “Get away from me, you pig!” he shouted.

No one is under the impression that Shelly Sterling's middle name is Pollyanna. But she is offering everyone the easy way out. And make no mistake, as we heard in the issues analysis above, if Donald Sterling actually prevails in this case, he'll be on much firmer ground when he goes after the NBA.

But for now, that's 'waaay too serious. The only rational action now is to grab some popcorn and wait for the next episode.