XFL 2.0: Trying to Please without the Sleaze

Are you still ready for some football?

WWE boshmeister Vince McMahon hopes to high hell you do.

Dude just got half-a-bill kicked outta his net worth, so if there's any way he wanted to see his second go at springtime football succeed more than he originally did, it's now.

And this weekend, the XFL is now. Again. Kinder and gentler.

 

This weekend, this version is gonna whistle past the graveyard that holds the bones of the USFL, WFL, AAF, and of course, itself.

The league's had all eight of its teams training in relative obscurity, but when the bell rings this weekend, McMahon and his crew are counting on opening a few eyes. Mind you ...

• Those eyes had better wear shades when Tampa Bay takes the field looking like giant cans of air freshener, and
• The Seattle Dragons oughta be paying logo royalties to the UAB Blazers.

 

What's going on with outta-market mythological creatures in the Emerald City?

Dragons? Kraken?

Of course, the other pro football team there hijacked the 12th Man custom from Texas A&M before justice prevailed. Apparently, importing tradition and legends are how they roll up there these days.

 

This could mean the Dragons will be under a karma alert.

They'll also join the New York Guardians to display some, most, or all of the XFL's spiffy new rules to make pro football more ... whatever:

• No extra point after TD: Instead, teams can go for one from the 2-yard line, two from the 5-yard line, or three from the 10-yard line.
• Multiple forward passes: Teams can throw two forward passes on the same play as long as both happen behind the line of scrimmage.
• Reinvented kickoffs: Only the kicker and receiver can move before the ball is caught, and the kick's gotta go further than the 20-yard line or the offense starts from the 45. Same with kicks outta bounds

 

• OT shootout: If regulation ends in a tie, both teams run five plays from the 5-yard line and get a point for each score and a point for each defensive stop. Most points win.
• One foot inbounds: Same as college rules.
• No replay challenges: All reviews are initiated by a replay official.
• Running clock: The clock doesn't stop outside of the final two minutes of each half.
• Shorter play clock: 25 seconds, instead of the NFL's 40.
• Fewer timeouts: Two per half, instead of the NFL's three.

 

Indeed. The XFL's gotta have a few gimmicks, even if they're vanilla.

Besides, some of them actually look like cool ideas. They might catch on.

 

The season's set to be 10-games long with no bye week, which makes sense with only eight teams.

The top two finishers in each division will play off on the weekend of 18-19 April with the title clash the next weekend.

The XFL broadcasts will also recognize the obvious, ie- fans actually bet on games.

 

Play-by dudes and their faithful analyst sidekicks will be able to mention betting during games, and there'll be on-screen graphics to accompany them.

As well, if you've got i❤️Radio, it's partnered with the Vegas Stats & Information Network (VSiN) to produce BetCasts and cover games from a punter's point of view.

 

Yes, that sorta punter.

So, dudes and dudettes, start your wallets. The XFL has got you covered, so now it's up to you to cover.

Vince McMahon and his stock portfolio would be ever so grateful.