Tom Brady Speaks in Depression-Era Cliché to a Terrified Nation
Well, in another tragic blow to logic and reason, we've seen a number of NFL players conducting private workouts despite overwhelming scientific data and expert medical opinions that strongly suggest this is a horrific idea.
One such player would be none other than armchair doctor Tom Brady, because why listen to experts in the field of infectious disease when you can follow the example of a vapid, 42-year-old QB?
Mr Terrific simply isn't going to allow a pesky global pandemic to keep him away from this new Tampa Bay Bucs teammates, so he decided to organize multiple private workouts recently even as several of his new pals tested positive for COVID-19.
Oh, and let's not forget this is all taking place in Florida, which is basically a petri dish for the virus at the moment.
Brady even took a break from putting his family and friends at risk to spew the following gibberish:
Another quote on Instagram from Tom Brady, again practicing with Bucs teammates in Tampa today after NFLPA medical director recommended players not to practice in groups: pic.twitter.com/2wqVT7hN8c— Greg Auman (@gregauman) June 25, 2020
Sadly, that's Captain America encouraging dangerously irresponsible behavior -- and not even being remotely original about it -- as Franklin Delano Roosevelt and his first inaugural address of 1932 would attest.
The NFL and NFLPA are even in rare agreement on the subject, which is yet another sign of the apocalypse:
NFL Chief Medical Officer Dr. Allen Sills asked about Tom Brady and his stance on workouts says only that the NFL and NFLPA will continue to educate players on how to try to mitigate risks of the spread of COVID.— Mike Jones (@ByMikeJones) June 25, 2020
Dr. Sills has received multiple questions about players (hello, Tom Brady) continuing to hold private workouts after NFLPA encouraged them not to. Sills said they agree with union position, and encourage players to follow public health guidelines.— Lindsay Jones (@bylindsayhjones) June 25, 2020
Legally, the NFL can't ban these sort of workouts. But Sills says players need to understand “risk reduction and mitigating risk. Players are going to share the same risk but also the same responsibility to each other."— Lindsay Jones (@bylindsayhjones) June 25, 2020
Sadly, fear is most certainly an option, particularly in Florida.
His silly message didn't exactly win over the masses either:
“The only thing we have to fear is fear itself. And strawberries. Strawberries and fear. And anyone who investigates cheating. Investigators and strawberries and fear are three things you should watch out for.” —Tom Brady— Jim Snowden (@SnowdenJim) June 25, 2020
Tom Brady with the declaration that if you are rich, famous, white, male and straight — i.e. if you are Tom Brady — you don’t live in fear. He is a hollow man.— Jake Murray (@jakemurray) June 25, 2020
Perhaps Tom Boy can fashion that old MAGA cap into a face covering of some sort.