Tom Brady Speaks in Depression-Era Cliché to a Terrified Nation

Published on 30-Jun-2020 by Raoul Duke

Football - NFL    NFL Daily Update

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Tom Brady Speaks in Depression-Era Cliché to a Terrified Nation

Well, in another tragic blow to logic and reason, we've seen a number of NFL players conducting private workouts despite overwhelming scientific data and expert medical opinions that strongly suggest this is a horrific idea.

One such player would be none other than armchair doctor Tom Brady, because why listen to experts in the field of infectious disease when you can follow the example of a vapid, 42-year-old QB?

Mr Terrific simply isn't going to allow a pesky global pandemic to keep him away from this new Tampa Bay Bucs teammates, so he decided to organize multiple private workouts recently even as several of his new pals tested positive for COVID-19.

Oh, and let's not forget this is all taking place in Florida, which is basically a petri dish for the virus at the moment.

Brady even took a break from putting his family and friends at risk to spew the following gibberish:


Just wow.


Sadly, that's Captain America encouraging dangerously irresponsible behavior -- and not even being remotely original about it -- as Franklin Delano Roosevelt and his first inaugural address of 1932 would attest.

The NFL and NFLPA are even in rare agreement on the subject, which is yet another sign of the apocalypse:




While Daniel Jones and Sam Darnold, among others, have also been organizing such workouts, Brady obviously sits atop this mountain of shit.

Sadly, fear is most certainly an option, particularly in Florida.

His silly message didn't exactly win over the masses either:



Perhaps Tom Boy can fashion that old MAGA cap into a face covering of some sort.