The Gronk Says He's Retiring ... Apparently

Published on 25-Mar-2019 by Biff BoJock

Football - NFL    NFL Daily Update

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The Gronk Says He's Retiring ... Apparently

So, the modern-day wonderment starts again.

Does he really mean it?

OG's always harp that words used to stand for something. Like when Joe Namath said he guaranteed the New York Jets would beat the Baltimore Colts in Super Bowl III, he had a plan.

Well, he did. And they did.


Since then, the only jock of consequence who meant what he said and was in prime position to do something about it was Mark Messier, captain of the 1994 New York Rangers.


Since then, talk's been cheap.

Guaranteeing victories is kinda the sports version of let's have lunch sometime.

Nowadays, in these ultra-cynical times when credibility has hit new lows, what are we to make that New England Patriots TE for the Ages Rob Gronkowski announces he's hanging up his cleats for good?


It all started at 20 years old on stage at the NFL draft when my dream came true, and now here I am about to turn 30 in a few months with a decision I feel is the biggest of my life so far. I will be retiring from the game of football today. I am so grateful for the opportunity that Mr. Kraft and Coach Belichick gave to me when drafting my silliness in 2010. My life experiences over the last 9 years have been amazing both on and off the field. The people I have meet, the relationships I have built, the championships I have been apart of, I just want to thank the whole New England Patriots organization for every opportunity I have been giving and learning the great values of life that I can apply to mine. Thank you to all of Pats Nation around the world for the incredible support since I have been apart of this 1st class organization. Thank you for everyone accepting who I am and the dedication I have put into my work to be the best player I could be. But now its time to move forward and move forward with a big smile knowing that the New England Patriots Organization, Pats Nation, and all my fans will be truly a big part of my heart for rest of my life. It was truly an incredible honor to play for such a great established organization and able to come in to continue and contribute to keep building success. To all my current and past teammates, thank you for making each team every year special to be apart of. I will truly miss you guys. Cheers to all who have been part of this journey, cheers to the past for the incredible memories, and a HUGE cheers to the uncertain of whats next.

A post shared by Rob Gronkowski (@gronk) on

Well, for one, we should hope that next time, he learns word economy can go a long way toward preventing eyestrain.

That reads like a damn Oscar acceptance speech.


Is this for real, then, or just some version of sports jock hot flash?


Isn't that just a subtle cry for concussion protocol, Super Bowl LIII victory or no?

Maybe Gronkowski's recognized that career earnings of $54million do mean it's time to enjoy the rest of what life has to offer.

And hell, there's still lotsa stuff for him to spike out there.


Frankly, there are better venues than parade buses to play touchy-feely with the girlfriend ...


... so why not just remove that possibility once and for all?

It's already in the been-there-done-that bin.

Kinda like all this stuff, too:


Not enough athletes have the moxie to go out on top, especially while they still have a functioning body.


Already bets are being made on when Gronk unretires.

Really, why shovel dirt off the career casket before an honorable burial's even been completed?


Dude's had a one-team career. How rare is that? In fact, how awesome is that!

Gronk will be 30 in May. Not sure what that'd be in horse years, but he'd have a lot more fun doing the Justify thing in his prime and going out to stud whenever the mood strikes.

Even on Sundays and the occasional Thursday.


So enough of this talk about unretiring. Instead, praise him for compiling a Hall of Fame career in his 20s and then getting out in one piece.

Otherwise, someone from the dark side might actually talk him into it.


Yes, that someone.

Resist and enjoy, dude. Live the dream without interruption.