NFL Draft: Bengals Bag Burrow at No 1; Kingsbury Clinches the Internet

Published on 24-Apr-2020 by Biff BoJock

Football - NFL    NFL Daily Update

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NFL Draft: Bengals Bag Burrow at No 1; Kingsbury Clinches the Internet

There's finally a silver lining to that scourge known as Covid-19.

It saved the NFL from itself on Draft Day.

Everybody's wisened enough in modern times to know that all major sports operations are corporate, but none of them flaunt it like the NFL.

The show they were planning in Las Vegas was gonna be full-on Rat Pack era.



While The Shield did have plans for sideshows where their heart-&-soul fans could partake, its version of splendor was gonna redline the garish-o-meter as most old-boy corporate events are wont to do.


The only thing missing was a shark to jump.

Fortunately, the lockdown spared everyone and, instead, the NFL stumbled onto a presentation that far and away more watchable, containing lotsa entertaining nuggets to enjoy.

They started early, too, with the Commish acknowledging a Draft Day tradition from his bunker basement headquarters for the night:


Zoom fatigue may have become a thing during the quarantine, but full marks to the NFL for deploying it in a kajillion places to make this an actual extravaganza for the masses.

It was totally cool to see how the general managers and coaches set up for the draft without the benefit of a war room, and really, from now on, who needs a war room?

Especially since the geeks were on their game and stuff like this was avoided:


When a hiccup did happen, it just sorta melded into the format's fabric:


How apropos was it that the classic placeholder text appear with a dude named Noah Igbinoghene?

Still, the crew got it right everywhere else, and with the first pick of the night, so did the Cincinnati Bengals by going no-brainer on Ohio native Joe Burrow:


And so it went.

Of note:

  • It was SEC Night in football cyberspace, with 15 of the 32 first-round selections coming from their schools;
  • LSU accounted for five of them, one shy of the common draft era record, held by the 2004 Miami Hurricanes; and what's more,
  • With QB Tua Tagovailoa going No 5 overall to the Dolphins, Nick Saban has now coached a first-round NFL pick at all 12 non-specialist positions.


There were a few surprises on the virtual center stage, depending on who is being asked.

The best ones, however, came from the various video feeds.

Tennessee Titans coach Mike Vrabel, for instance, looks like he's got the human resources to keep his lockdown from being boring:


Every party needs a dude posing as Frozone, and why not have one of your kids wear your 2007 All-Pro jersey, since that's the only one you earned? That's pride, right there.

For the record, his kid in the other room is not dropping a dookie, according to Vrabel. He's merely sitting on a stool playing a video game because drafts have lulls.


When he's not drafting linemen, it looks like New York Giants GM David Gettleman hangs out in the attic when he does the cyber thing.


As to the mask ...


Then there's new Washington coach Ron Rivera, who either likes to live sparse or the furniture's not arrived from Charlotte yet:


And because football drafts are meant to be done outdoors, Tampa Bay coach Bruce Arians is showing the sorta cool out on his patio that makes a six-time Super Bowl-winning slinger want to play for him and bring a friend, too:


We also now know who's behind Bill Belichick's personnel decisions:


Then there's the OG who's gonna have a special kinda beard if he gets another facelift.

Jerry Jones just doesn't get it if he thinks now's the time to publicly quarantine on his super-yacht while so many fellow citizens are going through the most trying times of their lives.


And here's the 21st Century version of Ursula, peel me a grape ...


No, if you're gonna win the Internet, show what $4.5million will get you in the Arizona suburbs:


If that doesn't score mega-points with his girlfriend, maybe he can mosey over to his neighbor Alice Cooper and ask if he can get her in his next video.

It'll give her something to do while he's trying to figure out who in this draft is gonna help the Cardinals get to .500 whenever the next season rolls around.

Meanwhile, the 2021 Draft oughta be held at his house. It's the only thing that could possibly match this year's.