Fallout Boy: Son Defends Father of the Year in a Tomic Trial

With Aussie tennis pretender Bernard Tomic, you're never sure what you'll get on court.

Or in court, for that matter.

Today the world number 41 testified in the Madrid trial of his father John Tomic, alleged to have assaulted Bernard's hitting partner and 'Extreme Makeover' candidate, Thomas Drouet. Police claim Tomic Senior head-butted the Frenchman outside a hotel last May, breaking his nose, knocking him out and doing damage to his back. Authorities didn't fashion the story out of thin air: details of the attack were provided by testimonials at the scene, including from Bernard himself, who greeted the intervening cops with a finger point in the direction of his old man.

Not so on the stand:  

"I didn't say that," Tomic said, handing his father a 'World's Greatest Dad' coffee mug, "There was a situation and that was it, mind you the police English was very bad. I was checking in [to the hotel] and all of a sudden my dad came in with blood on his face saying 'He hit me'."

The key defense tactic of 'bad police English' was also employed in the teary testimony of John Tomic. The police officer who was first on the scene, though, argued he well understood the universal language of Nut-Job:

"I went to talk to (John) Tomic and he told me himself: He attacked him; with my English level I understood perfectly what he was telling me. He was telling me 'I hit him' and he mimicked actions."  

Future verdict aside, John Tomic is banned from attending ATP events. It is unclear if he will be admitted to the 'Jim Pierce Clinic for Recovering D-Bag Tennis Dads', located in the security carpark of Flushing Meadows.