Wayne Rooney Turns Route 1 Football into the Autobahn

Just because big European names put themselves out to pasture in the MLS, it doesn't mean they've gone to seed.

Think of it as a few seasons of testimonial matches.

Wayne Rooney may be squeezing a few more career quid outta DC United, but he's definitely earning it.

Sometimes, on entertainment value alone.

 

OK, dude's had better moments in crowd-pleasing.

For example, on one enchanted evening -- as in last night -- DC was hosting Orlando City, and a mere ten minutes into the proceedings, dude decided to put a charge into things.

 

What in the name of Pete Gogolak was the 'keeper doing so far off his line?

Long-range boots like that are the entire reason why Europeans became a thing in the NFL.

Besides, when it comes to launching scuds, this wasn't Rooney's first barrage.

Partake:

 

Then, there was this little heatseeker:

 

So, all togther now, goalkeepers ...

When Rooney's in the house:

 

Along with nutmegs ...

 

... it's football's version of getting posterized.

If you've got a really wide poster.