Chelsea Does a Classic Chelsea

Before they became Chelski, the tony little football club in a fasionable section of London had a certain trait about them.

They'd always manage to lose matches they were penciled in to win.

Didn't matter if it was FC Down Yer Block, they were clockwork.

In a way, it's heartwarming to know the Lads in Blue still pay homage to tradition on occasion.

Now, the Blues just do it on a grander scale.

Chelsea just became the Premiership’s first reigning champions to lose its first game of the following season at home.

Burnley -- who know a thing or two about tradition -- jumped out to a three-goal lead on the titlists and then held on for dear life to post a 2-3 upset.

The Blues did chalk up the match sheet's first entry, but this time it was a red card for newly appointed captain Gary Cahill:

No arguments on this one and he knows it.

Don't even ask what he was thinking, because none was evident.

Sam Vokes made the extra man pay ten minutes later:

Put ice skates on the Welsh international, and he'd have been right at home on a hockey power play.

And that's why hockey doesn't have as many fouls as soccer.

But they do make up for it in other ways, like getting their money's worth if they're gonna be short-handed.

Anyway, back to the ambush at Stamford Bridge.

A mere quarter-hour after Vokes struck, Stephen Ward came all the way from the back to score an absolute stunner:

For all the dosh Chelsea's splashed out in contracts, it's no help when it's only spread ten ways on defense.

Then, just before the intermission, Vokes reaped another reward for the Clarets as Chelsea bent the knee:

Give it to the home team, though, for fighting back with what they had left. After all, it was still a lot.

Chelsea’s new signing -- Alvaro Morata -- brought one back with a brilliant diving header:

Such sights are a rarity in modern football.

So are 9-against-11 goals.

Being real, they only would've shown up with gridiron helmets.

When Cesc Fàbregas got rung up in the 81st minute for his second yellow, that basically sealed the deal on the day.

However, pro that he is, David Luiz offered a glimmer of hope for Chelsea fans when he defied the odds:

Too little, too late. But dude could play striker from now on by the looks of it.