Belgium Destroys Tunisia; Eyes England for Reality Check

When the World Cup schedulers put Group G's itinerary together, they knew how the final day of pool play would look.

FIFA's world ranking system is significantly quantified, so it's not as cynically subjective as, say, what passes for how the American college gridiron rankings work.

So, when this particular collection shakes down like this:

• Belgium ... No 3
• England ... No 12
• Tunisia ... No 47
• Panama ... the depths of hell

Some conclusions just make themselves evident.

 

The turning point in this one was the Red Devils' first touch.

If it was notable for anything, it'd be the goal total. Belgium's 5-2 annihilation of those overwhelmed Eagles of Carthage was indeed total, complete, and further evidence to counter FIFA's rainbows-&-unicorns plan to keep expanding the World Cup from the currently bloated 32 to an abundantly flatulent 48 as soon as 2022.

Can't wait.

 

On the bright side, it'll do wonders for alcohol sales in sports bars.

This game had barely started when, in the 7th minute, Eden Hazard was brought down in the box. Dude moseyed on over to the spot and made no mistake:

It had to be Tunisian 'keeper Farouk Ben Mustapha first clue that this was gonna be one long day.

Belgium had no intention of slowing down its pace, as goal difference could be the determining factor in who gets the group's top seed for bracket play. England's been racking up goals, too.

So, in the 16th minute, Dries Mertens stole the ball and delivered it to Romelu Lukaku, who beat the keeper with a solid finish:

Tunisia mustered its forces, and in the 18th minute, the Eagles won a free kick.

Making the most of a rare opportunity, Dylan Bronn stayed onside and headed one home for the Eagles.

However, that just seemed to make the Belgians mad.

On the verge of intermission, the Red Devils struck one more time. Lukaku received an amazing pass from Thomas Meunier and made it 3-1 three minutes into injury time:

The second half featured more of the same. Belgium was virtually able to score at will.

And don't wonder who Will is.

 

Kevin de Bruyne found Hazard six minutes after the break, and dude didn't waste the splendid service.

It was the second goal from Belgium’s captain and the fourth for Belgium:

In the 68th minute,Hazard was subbed out in favor of Michy Batshuayi.

The striker lost at least three good chances before finally scoring his goal in the 90th minute:

Tunisia did manage a lovely parting gift in injury time.

In the 93rd minute, Wahbi Khazri put a good finish on Belgian 'keeper Thibaut Courtois:

 

Suffice to say the Tunisians have a lotta work to do over the next four years.

If the World Cup field expands to 48 by the time everyone gathers in Qatar, the Eagles of Carthage will have little issue in getting there. The task will be staying there longer than two games.

Meanwhile, time for Belgium to get serious. Their defense is gonna need to do better than it did in this walkover.