To Spite Your Face: Blackhawk Fans Obsess over Justin Bieber, Completely Ignore Stanley Cup

At the Chicago Blackhawks annual fan convention on 27 July, a trio of the faithful brought along a cardboard cutout of Justin Bieber's face and proceeded to crush it under foot for more than 100 photos. This act of 'revenge' was in response to Biebs desecrating the team's sacred throw-rug during a promo shoot cum business-casual tutorial earlier in the month.     

Check-mate, 'Hawks Nation.

Check. Mate.

That's what a true hockey fans' soirée is all about: trodding on the visage of a contrived, goldbricking celeb-twerp so that Chicago pride can be restored. Forget the opportunity to breathe in the rarefied air of the home team's locker room. Dismiss the chance to walk in the footsteps of heroes like Jonathan Toews and Patrick Kane and Jamal Mayers.

Hell, completely ignore the Stanley Cup.

You do remember that mug, don't you? Hardest trophy to win in professional sports? The one your franchise secured with a miracle seventeen seconds? The one that was in the building, front and centre at the convention, desperate for a little attention?

"... We gave our nods to the coveted trophy and walked away,” the vengeful trio wrote in an e-mail. “... If we can't take (Biebs' noggin) in front of the cup, we will take it everywhere else!”

Insert slow clap here.