The World Cup of Hockey Needs Sideshow Bob

Published on 06-Feb-2015 by J Square Humboldt
NHL / NHL Daily Update

Has it really come to this?

In the end, there were only two logical locations to host the 2016 World Cup of Hockey.

One was Toronto, which should actually experience the foreign feeling of seeing the team it's supporting win.

And the other was Japan.

That's because it's where the trend of batshit crazy reality shows originated.

The NHL's made-for-marketing event will have more of the same, what with hodgepodge teams rounding out the field and players in pre-training camp shape.

Were Gary Bettman and his entourage satisifed with the World Baseball Classic's still-too-murky-to-measure stats regarding its season-long effect on players?

Whatever. It's on.

And, in a marriage made in hell, it's on ESPN.

Where else would the NHL go with its blatant cash-grab of an event but to an outfit that's turned cash-grabbing into an art form?

This event will create no new hockey fans, nor will it shift ESPN's priorities. If there's any benefit for the great unwashed, it's that there's a chance Gary Thorne will be hired to do a few games.

As to protocol, what anthems will the World Cup of Hockey use for the North American U23s and the EuroMix? If they're taking suggestions ...

U23s: EuroMix:

And the allusion to Sideshow Bob?

Hockey fans can only hope for the best -- and no matter what happens, ESPN's spin machine will play it out to be a success -- but this event serves no other purpose for the game than enriching club owners and giving them a bargaining chip for the 2018 Winter Olympics tourney.

For the good of the great unwashed, Sideshow Bob would provide a useful service. He knows how to deal with clowns.

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