If It Bleeds: Mike Milbury Wants to Go All Arnie on 'Predator' Brooks Orpik

Published on 31-Mar-2014 by Xavier McSpaniel
NHL / NHL Daily Update

If It Bleeds: Mike Milbury Wants to Go All Arnie on 'Predator' Brooks Orpik

There has been plenty of harumphing in the wake of Brooks Orpik's legal and commendable obliteration of Jonathan Toews on Sunday.

He's now listed as day-to-day, but as the saying goes, aren't we all?

The Blackhawks captain will be further evaluated today to determine the full extent of his being crunched.

No one, though, has been more strident than Mike Milbury.

The NBCSN relic and former John Spano wingman tabbed Orpik a "predator" and should have to "face the music" for his triumph of textbook physicality.

How specifically would Milbury exact retribution?

"I'd send out the line of Schwarzenegger, Weathers and Ventura to take him out," he said, applying black paint to his face and pressing a machete to his pectorals. "I'd give 'em each a shoe to make sure they got him good."

"If he bleeds, they can kill him."

Surely, they wouldn't have to resort to murder? Couldn't they just slew-foot him and pound his defenceless unconscious body, as Shawn Thornton did earlier this season?

"The Thornton thing was an accident. He couldn't see Orpik because Orpik's a predator and therefore invisible. Watch the Toews hit -- he never saw it coming because Orpik can't be seen!"    

Milbury declined further comment, stating his desire to get to the chopper.

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