Bros Before Schmoes: Sidney Crosby Skates by DMV Line as a Celebrity Should

Published on 13-Aug-2013 by Xavier McSpaniel

NHL    NHL Daily Opinion

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Bros Before Schmoes: Sidney Crosby Skates by DMV Line as a Celebrity Should

It has been said that Sidney Crosby can be a line all on his own. Last Friday, he proved it.

At the DMV.

Yes, in a move that shocked celebrities standing patiently in queues all across the nation, Sid the Kid got preferential treatment over the great unwashed when renewing his license in McCandless, Pittsburgh. Some of the plebs were none too happy:

"I disapprove," bemoaned 46-year-old Susan Campbell of Cranberry, who later in the day claimed she was Lady Gaga testing for a Class 5. "He should have to sit and wait with everyone else."

Ms Campbell also opined that spoilt Number '87' should be more like Wayne Gretzky, whom the family had once bailed up at a little place called Not the DMV:

"Those are the people fans learn to love and encourage their children to follow -- the ones that take the time to talk and be themselves. It depends on what kind of character you want to show, and it depends on how you want people to talk about you."

Ms Campbell then put on a '99' sweater and made a dash for the front counter. 

In truth, it wasn't Crosby pulling out the diva deke that secured his advantage; it is a longstanding policy in Pittsburgh that their endless constellation of stars can get a leg-up at the DMV so as to prevent disruption to their glacier-like service. And let's be real: being able to renew your motor vehicle license without four hours of incessant tongue-clicking and rampant body odour of the Kenworth jockey in the seat beside...This is the reason for celebrity aspiration, the greatest perk for being tremendously good at a movie, music or sport thing.

Now, were we to talk about the line-up at the bar: that's a different matter altogether.