Where in the World is Tom Brady’s Jersey?
The taste of victory is the sporting world's sweetest flavor.
Joy, exuberance, existential happiness.
Whatever you want to call the feeling of being the champ tops all else.
Eventually, though, reality begins to set in, and you begin to wonder things.
Things like, where the hell is Tom Brady's jersey?
The joy of victory is one thing.
And losing game-used merchandise worth wads of dosh can be worse than the agony of defeat.
Somehow, Brady’s Super Bowl jersey up and vanished like a fart in the wind.
According to Brady, his jersey disappeared from the Patriots' locker room in the early moments after they completed the greatest comeback in Super Bowl history.
The facts seem to be that Brady’s equipment -- including his jersey and pads -- were taken back to the Pats' locker room during his revenge revenge handshake with the Commish.
Brady returned to the locker room, which at the time was restricted to New England team personnel only, and put his jersey in his team travel bag. Dude then went off to take pictures with his Pats fam and give media interviews.
When he came back to his locker, poof! His jersey was gone.
Why does any of this matter?
Sentimental value, if you're already rich, as the jersey symbolizes Brady as the greatest QB of all time.
As mentioned earlier, that just might pale in terms of market value. The jersey's already valued at a cool half-million smackaroonies.
Without any security footage, the mystery of who took Brady’s jersey is rocking the sports world. On the case is the NFL, the Houston police, and even the Texas Rangers.
The actual Texas Rangers, not the baseball team.
Although you could make a good buddy-cop movie starring Adrian Beltre and Elvis Andrus.
Will the Super Bowl jersey ever be found?
Hell, is it even lost?
Will those responsible ever be brought to justice?
What help could
Batman Ben Affleck offer beyond a good screenplay?
Tune in next time to find out.
Same Pat Time, same Pat Channel.