The Jon Gruden Courtship Ritual

The annual NFL head coaching rumor mill is firing up once more, and there are a number of vacancies to be filled.

As usual, look for certain names to be automatically linked to a few of these gigs.

One such name would be Jon Gruden.

Never mind that Chucky hasn't stalked an NFL sideline since 2008.

Also, let's disregard the fact that he is gainfully employed by ESPN.

Just look at how much fun he and Mike Tirico used to have in the booth.

And remember, the Mothership pays quite well for the big names.

This year's flirtation appears to have involved the Indianapolis Colts.

Team owner Jim Irsay was apparently attempting to woo the former Super Bowl-winning coach with a bit of casual flirtation.

It's unclear just how serious any of this nonsense may have been, but Irsay's decided to give Chuck Pagano another year, for good or ill.

We can debate the merits of this default decision, but it's been reported that Gruden would command an obscene salary -- upwards of $10million per year -- not to mention full autonomy over the roster, because this is how Chucky rolls.

Gruden is still only 53 years old, but the coaching window will eventually close.

Perhaps Bill Cowher is available.

Yeah, also no.