More Man Versus Cheetah: Aaron Rodgers Interested in Racing Ryan Braun

Published on 28-Jul-2013 by Xavier McSpaniel
Football - NFL / NFL Daily Update

More Man Versus Cheetah: Aaron Rodgers Interested in Racing Ryan Braun

NFL players really want to stick it to the cheetah.

First there was Chris Johnson and Devin Hester racing Mother Nature's own Chip Kelly offense for speed supremacy. The tilt, set up for a National Geographic TV show, was held at Busch Gardens in Tampa, conducted over sixty metres, and didn't involve antelope, buffalo, defensive lineman, or any other naturally occurring prey. The outcome of the event will be broadcast on Nat Geo Wild in November. 

One would imagine the big cat being permitted a well-earned rest after taking on two of the NFL's premier flyers.

Not so: word is Aaron Rodgers also wants to tackle the cheetah.

"Oh yeah, it's no lie," said a former bratwurst vendor turned publicist for the Green Bay QB. "We got a date towards the end of training camp. And we got a venue, too -- in the carpark of the Old Milwaukee brewery."

"He wants to teach that sonofabitch a lesson.

"What that fraud has done to the good people of Wisconsin - lyin' to our faces, sayin' his urine was cleaner than a Lambeau locker-room - well, he deserves to get an ass-whippin' from Number 12.

"And now he's off the juice, it'll be like takin' beer from a baby."

When informed that 'cheetah' referred to the fastest land animal in the world and not Ryan Braun, the publicist scratched his groin and asked if there were any supplements we could recommend for Rodgers' preparations.

Stay tuned for the big race in the coming weeks.

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