Browns Go Trade Crazy; Humanitarian Groups Approve

After their 0-16 season had fans throwing a parade in the shape of a zero, something had to be done.

So don't accuse the Cleveland Browns of falling victim to any trite definition of insanity.

New GM John Dorsey took a long look at their roster and figured he had two choices:

• Learn to make White Russians with Maalox, or
• Get a jump on Madden 19 and use real players.

 

With the dudes being shipped out probably considering this frenzy a jailbreak, Dorsey pulled the trigger on three deals today and is in the process of closing a fourth:

• He sent a fourth-round pick this spring and a seventh-rounder in 2019 to Miama for WR Jarvis Landry;
• He flipped a third-rounder this spring to Buffalo for QB Tyrod Taylor;
• That set the stage to give DeShone Kizer a ticket to Green Bay in exchange for CB Damarious Randall; and look for
• DT Danny Shelton and a pick this spring going to New England for a future pick.

 

No way Dorsey's done, either. Dude's got a shipload of cap space and lotsa draft picks, so if the Browns go winless again, head coach Hue Jackson had better make sure his résumé's updated to two seasons ago.

He'd be advised to write sabbatical where his Browns stint would go.

 

The glory issue, of course, is what obtaining Tyrod Taylor does for them.

He's obviously the bridge slinger, doing the experience thing until whomever Dorsey and Jackson acquire for the long term is ready for the reins.

Still, the former Hokie should serve to be a pretty slick pick for the role.

 

Unless the Browns go into their summer OTAs wearing game jerseys, the players might need to wear name tags to introduce each other.

But after a winless season, what Dorsey's doing had to happen.

Maybe playing the under in Cleveland's over-under for total wins in 2019 won't be such a mortgage-the-home no-brainer this time.

In a way, that kinda sucks, but it'll be refreshing to see the NFL actuall have 30 real teams again.