Browns Curse the Ancient Inventor of Zero
In the beginning, there was nothing.
Sorta like the Cleveland Browns' list of positives this season.
So, somebody had to come up with a way to represent nothing.
Sorta like the Cleveland Browns themselves.
It's becoming ever clearer that the club overachieved last season by winning a game.
As in a game.
That's gotta be the real reason the Chargers moved outta San Diego.
Consensus had it that if the Browns were ever gonna put an existential digit in the win column, it was gonna hafta be at the expense of those hapless, Darnold-whoring New York Jets.
Thing is, coming into Week 5 at 2-2, they didn't appear all that hapless.
Turns out, they weren't.
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Frankly, that drive said it all.
Among Cleveland's sins were ...
- Two soul-crushing turnovers in the red zone, assuming the Browns have any souls left to crush, and
- Doing their part to welcome Austin Seferian-Jenkins back from rehab.
Why the Jets rescinded their bitta Twitter knife-twisting is a mystery.
It's not that anyone would think it's inaccurate:
On the bright side, Cleveland's got the Indians and Cavaliers, both of whom deploy zeroes to denote stuff like long winning streaks.
Right now, that's the abstract concept the Browns are struggling to comprehend.