Back On A High: Wes Welker Really, Really Excited to Return, Clearly Still on Drugs
Denver Broncos wide receiver Wes Welker has returned to the team fold.
He's back mixing with Molly, too.
"[I'm] excited, just really excited,'' he told The Daily Player while guzzling water and scratching at his arms. "It feels great, it feels great...You really realize how much you miss it.''
Broncos Wes Welker, whose four-game suspension is being lifted, is returning to work with Denver this morning.— Adam Schefter (@AdamSchefter) September 17, 2014
Welker won't be missing Molly much in future -- the new NFL policy is an absolute boon for e-trippers. Under the guidelines of substance abuse, a player must be chewing off the faces of passers-by and appearing in the sequel to Breaking Bad for a suspension to kick in.
Prior to that stage, positive amphetamine tests result in nothing more than a series of counselor chin-wags and some additional urination.
Welker was originally outed for four games under the banner of the league's PEDS policy and sat out the Broncos' tilts with the Indianapolis Colts and Kansas City Chiefs. Had the new rules not come to fruition, Welker claims he could've torn the NFL a new e-hole.
"I said it was flawed, you know, and we got it fixed. That just kind of goes to show it was flawed and it's fixed now. We've moved on from it.''
And by 'we', he means 'Molly and me'.