Slights of Fancy: LeBron Phrasebook Takes Offense to New Heights

Published on 20-May-2013 by Xavier McSpaniel

Basketball - NBA    NBA Daily Opinion

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Slights of Fancy: LeBron Phrasebook Takes Offense to New Heights

A long time ago, in a Samsung Galaxy far, far away, LeBron James could justifiably take offense at what people said.

For now, that time has passed. Finding someone with a bad thing to say about the four-time MVP these days is like telling Tyson Chandler a 'give and go' once happened with Carmelo Anthony. Indeed, the fawning at the feet of the former pariah has reached a level so absurd as to re-write NBA history.

With such shrill adulation, how does an untouchable retain an edge?

By creating his own phrasebook of manufactured slights, that's how.

Indiana Pacers coach and Conference Finals foe, Frank Vogel, was obviously not privy to LBJ's guide to offense when he made this utterance following the Game 6 triumph over the Knicks:

"You're in the final four, you're competing for a championship. And they're just the next team that's in our way. And that's how we're approaching it."

A reporter familiar with the Heat leader's lexicon of diss duly delivered it as "Vogel kept saying last night that you guys are just another team", to which James pulled out his Bron-glish tome, thumbed through to the appropriate 'You Talkin' To Me?' section, and replied:

"... We’re not just another team. We’re a great team. We’re very confident. We’ll be ready for them. But if we’re just another team, you really don’t prepare for just another team. We’re not just another team. You got to be prepared for us."

Monday morning, Vogel hosed down the effrontery by apologizing for his use of literal, incontrovertible English and, in a quote taken directly from the foreword of the King James bible, assured the sour superstar:

"... Great respect for LBJ and the champs. Looking forward to (a) great series."

Clearly, the Pacers' coach learned a valuable lesson and, with the help of his newly-acquired 'Mountain out of a Bron-Hill' reference guide, his next interview will result in a different sound-bite decision.

BTW, 'Decision' in Bron-glish is defined as "What could possibly go wrong?"