Kobe: Mad the Team's Soft; Glad the Cap's Soft

Published on 12-Dec-2014 by J Square Humboldt
Basketball - NBA / NBA Daily Update

We don't need no stinkin' plays!

It's hard to pinpoint when Kobe Bryant jumped the shark.

His Achilles injury made it a subtle moment, ironically, when he couldn't jump at all.

However, he's been preparing for the day, symbolically if nothing else.

Here he is, jumping a pool of snakes:

You don't do that if you're soft. So maybe Kobe should bring a few fellow black mambas to a Lakers practice. Maybe that'll toughen his teammates. Give 'em a choice of wildlife:

It beats whining and saying stuff that Momma just doesn't wanna hear in the house.

Is it that hard for this dude to realize the inevitable when his contract takes a shark-chomp outta the team's cap? At least he's doing his part to help the Lakers redefine franchise suckitude.

Kobe does seem to understand that his best days have gone the way of the dodo bird, and it's obvious he prefers cashing more checks to ringing up victories. So why the attitude?

Maybe if he'd show up for practice more often. His 1-on-5 needs work.

Back in the day, maybe he woulda done a Kevin Durant in that sorta situation:

Gotta love the NBA. It still gives a few of its prima donnas something to do after they die.

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