Hate No More: Clippers to Pursue Jason Collins; Donald Sterling Spontaneously Combusts

Some delightful news on the NBA wire today: LA Clippers owner Donald Sterling has spontaneously combusted.

The trigger for this surprising yet welcome demise?

The Clippers announced they would be targeting Jason Collins in the offseason.

"Straight after I told Mr Sterling -- poof! He went up in smoke!" said franchise prez and incontrovertible caucasian, Andy Roeser. "He leaves quite a legacy behind."

Indeed he does. One of hate and disgrace and indefensible behaviour, culminating with the recent ten-minute TMZ recording that no sensitivity training could ever redress. Roeser's damage control -- to make it known the Clips would go after the NBA's only openly gay African-American athlete -- turned out to be the final straw.

"I thought getting Jason Collins on our roster would assist Mr Sterling in revamping his bigotry, but I guess it was all too much for his permanently sectarian skin to hold together."

"In a way, it has helped. He won't be saying anything terrible again any time soon."

Few specific details have emerged for a memorial service. It is understood Snoop Dogg has put his hand up to perform the eulogy: