Zeke Elliott Leaves His Bath Towel at Home on Thanksgiving
The Dallas Cowboys were victims of holiday malaise on Thanksgiving Day against the Buffalo Bills.
Of course, a more likely explanation is that the Bills are much better at football than the Cowboys.
Whatever the case, it didn't go well, although one wonders if they might've benefited from the presence of Zeke Elliott's giant bath towel.
Perhaps we should elaborate.
Last weekend in Foxboro, the Cowboys also played like complete shit.
With the rainy conditions conspiring against them, Zeke decided to battle the elements with an assist from a conspicuously large towel:
Why is Ezekiel Elliott running with a full size Motel 6 bathroom towel tucked in his pants? pic.twitter.com/akag4XIvfB— Russell Wilsons TD% is unsustainable (@AnOutragedJew) November 25, 2019
This is a question that needs to be explored, if only to satisfy our own curiosity.
Obviously, a hand towel was probably necessary, but that thing was practically beach-sized.
Clearly, dude had his reasons.
It looks like it’s freezing in Norman yet Gary Patterson is sweating his ass off wearing a golf shirt on the sideline.— Steve Wiltfong (@SWiltfong247) November 24, 2019
It simply doesn't add up.
Similar questions were being asked across the Interwebs:
Why is Ezekiel Elliott playing with a beach towel up his ass crack?— Mo (@PKmilly17) November 25, 2019
I thought that boy @EzekielElliott had a cape on with that big ass towel 😂😂😂— Zaytoven318 (@RhoneZavion) November 24, 2019
We may never know the truth.