Jimmy Garoppolo Dating a Porn Actress Is an Issue for Prudes Everywhere

Published on 30-Jul-2018 by Raoul Duke

Football - NFL    NFL Daily Update

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Jimmy Garoppolo Dating a Porn Actress Is an Issue for Prudes Everywhere

We live in dark, brooding times in this foul Year of Our Lord 2018.

Leaders of the free world aren't on the same page, volcanoes have become sentient, and most of California appears to be engulfed in flames.

However, despite these many calamities, certain old ladies in sports media choose to discuss Jimmy Garoppolo's personal life.

 

A Sporting News writer by the name of Michael McCarthy seems to think that Jimmy G's brand, along with the future of the NFL, is at extreme risk because of the Niner QB's extracurricular activities.

 

To back up his argument, he even cited Jason Whitlock discussing the super-rich Garoppolo's apparent freaky side, and how this could be a potential distraction.

 

Jimmy G is apparently dating porn actress Kiara Mia, star of such adult fare as the Kim K parody Keeping Up With Kiara Mia and Big Wet Butts.

 

She also has a pretty solid porn name.

 

Of course, the crack staff at TMZ Sports is all over this story.

 

Kiara even dished about the date!

 

Well, there you go.

Apparently, Jimmy G was advised by his head coach Kyle Shanahan to treat this as a good learning experience, which it no doubt was.

 

In summary, this date is probably not going to bring down our proud democracy.

However, maybe those debutantes McCarthy and Whitlock should vacate the grid and live underground.

Just in case.