Clemson Stops by the White House for a Fast Food Buffet
Published on 15-Jan-2019 by Raoul Duke
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Once upon a time, it was considered a privilege for championship teams to visit the White House.
Clearly, this isn't currently the case.
The Clemson Tigers tore Nick Saban a new one in the title game, spanking the Crimson Tide, 44-16, to take the CFP Championship.
As a result of this historic triumph, they were rewarded with a trip to TrumpLand.
Please remember to keep your hands and racism inside the car at all times.
Now, because of that pesky government shutdown, the White House chefs have been furloughed, which makes catering events something of a problem.
But fear not:
News: Due to the government shutdown, President Trump is personally paying for the meals that will be provided to the Clemson team during their celebration tonight, CNN has learned. Trump said he's serving "McDonald's, Wendy's and Burger King's with some pizza." WH statement: pic.twitter.com/SAae2dSuMr
— Kaitlan Collins (@kaitlancollins) January 14, 2019
See, this is the kinda pro-active thinking that makes us the envy of the planet.
"I think we're going to serve McDonald's, Wendy's, & Burger King, with some pizza. I would think that's their favorite food." — Trump, on Clemson football team visit pic.twitter.com/QPQ5SFSZhQ
— Timothy Burke (@bubbaprog) January 14, 2019
And just look at this spread:
POTUS with “great American food” for Clemson Tigers visiting WH. pic.twitter.com/VgmQeXNhk6
— Roberta Rampton (@robertarampton) January 14, 2019
We couldn't be prouder.
Clemson team steps up to chow down at WH fast food buffet. pic.twitter.com/HgIsKqVHDy
— Mark Knoller (@markknoller) January 14, 2019
Somewhere, Morgan Spurlock just threw up in his mouth a little.
The Clemson team nutritionists are probably displeased, as well.
At least some folks still appreciate quality American food.
As with most White House episodes these days, this shit reads like satire, but it's really happening.