Dennis Rodman Allegedly Involved in a Really Clumsy Yoga Studio Theft

On the surface, a story about a yoga studio robbery seems unusual.

However, after learning that Dennis Rodman is involved, the pieces fall right into place.

Apparently, the two-time NBA Defensive Player of the Year has somehow found the time between peace-keeping missions in North Korea to plan and execute a brazen daytime heist of VIBES Hot Yoga in Newport Beach.

Shockingly, the caper doesn't appear to have gone well.

 

Before we make any harsh indictments, let's have a look at some surveillance footage, helpfully provided by the always reliable TMZ Sports.

 

Clearly, this group of savvy criminals really did their homework beforehand.

 

If only they hadn't selected their own aliases.

The accomplished cross-dresser has vehemently denied these slanderous allegations, and you're really going to enjoy his explanation.

 

See, now that is the very same eloquence that has made such significant diplomatic inroads with hoops enthusiast Kim Jong Un.

 

Yes, the Worm is actually suggesting that he and his flunkies were asked to move the 400lb crystal, and in return were told they could just take a bunch of shit.

Of course, the video tells a different story, but reality waved bye-bye to Dennis a long time ago.

 

That whole violating probation thing is a genuine concern, but perhaps some sort of intervention would be a good idea.

 

Well, perhaps not.