Today's Gonna Feature a Sports Hella-Equinox

The Year from Hell giveth, and the Year from Hell taketh away.

And today, it's gonna be a bitta both.

Irony continues to reign supreme in 2020, and here comes the latest instance of instances.

A milestone in sports equinoxes is about to be unleashed on deserving fans all over the continent in waves that are almost too much to handle.

 

Especially because they won't be there to see it.

The Covid-19 lockdown won't even allow those in right-thinking locales to wander down to a mega-screen sports bar to take in the experience in afar.

Bummer, because thanks to the rearranged seasons and all, it's gonna be a jam-packed day of sporting wet dreams come to life all at once:

 

For starters, just feast your eyes on this sample slate of national TV offerings, listed in order of start times:

• MLB ... Detroit Tigers at St. Louis Cardinals, 2:15pm edt, MLB Network
• Men's Tennis ... US Open Men’s Doubles Final, 3pm edt, ESPN2
• PGA ... Safeway Open, First Round, 4pm edt, Golf Channel
• NBA ... Los Angeles Lakers at Houston Rockets, 7pm edt, TNT
• WNBA ... New York Liberty at Indiana Fever, 7pm edt, CBSSN
• Women's Tennis ... US Open Women’s Singles Semifinals, 7pm edt, ESPN
• NHL ... Las Vegas Knights at Dallas Stars, 8pm edt, NBCSN
• NCAAF ... UAB at Miami, 8pm edt, ACC Network
• NFL ... Houston Texans at Kansas City Chiefs, 8:20pm edt, NBC
• MLS ... Seattle Sounders at San Jose Earthquakes,10pm edt, ESPN+

There it is, ten different sports being played on the same day, and that's a Thursday.

 

The full count is impressive, interspersed with serious stakes in the outcome, too:

• A total of 12 MLB games on tap;
• Serena Williams and Naomi Osaka have semi-final matches;
• LeBron, the Brow, and Lake Show 2.0  are gonna take on the Beard, the Brook, and the Rockets;
• It's the Golden Knights and Stars in a key Western Conference Game 3 Stanley Cup playoff clash; and, of course,
• The NFL kicks off its Thursday Night Football itinerary.

 

The only cornucopia of concentrated athletic action that comes close to this sorta thing happened back in a pandemic-free 2018, when Los Angeles had a super-equinox all to itself.

That's when the Dodgers, Kings, Lakers, and Rams all had games on Sunday 28 Oct 2018.

It's the sheer volume of events across ten sports that makes this one special, and while we have the lockdown to thank for making it possible, we also have it to curse for denying us its full visceral impact.

And as if that's not hard enough to take, this news happens:

 

It's just that kinda day.