José Canseco Just Might Be Our Next Chief of Staff
These are dark times we live in, dudes.
Somehow, there's more job turnover in our dysfunctional government than at the local Dairy Queen.
For example, there's a current opening for Chief of Staff following the resignation of John Kelly.
Clearly, this position requires an abundance of patience and the ability to work with adult children.
Fortunately, we may have found the perfect candidate.
José Canseco is tanned, rested and ready for public service.
Hey little buddy @realDonaldTrump u need a bash brother for Chief if Staff. Got a secret reorg plan already. Also worried about you looking more like a Twinkie everyday. I will buff you up daily workouts. DM me. #yeswecanseco— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) December 13, 2018
Indeed, the Bash Brother for hire is throwing his performance-enhanced hat into the political ring.
When you consider just how batshit crazy things are at the moment, this probably makes perfect sense.
While the exiled Kelly reportedly didn't get along with the Trumpster, Canseco seems to share a similiar mentality with his little buddy.
Of course, this isn't the first time Canseco has petitioned Trump directly for a government gig.
The UN position would've been ideal for the former Pittsburg Diamond, providing an opportunity to put those polished communication skills to good use.
See, José and the Worm just want us to be happy.
We're so doomed.