Hey, Let's Go Hunt the Elusive Sasquatch with Jose Canseco!
While this is a crushing blow to the country in the macro, it does free up the former MVP to explore his many passions.
For example, there's his continuing search for the elusive Sasquatch -- aka Bigfoot, due to cryptodude's size 20's -- and signs of alien life.
Perhaps Canseco should locate his sanity first.
Come spend the day with me and my alien Buddies I'll show you Bigfoot and a real alien call Morgan at 702-374-3735— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) February 12, 2019
And at a perfectly reasonable $5000 a head, it's quite the bargain.
If we back away slowly and avoid eye contact, we may just get out of here alive.
We can probably all agree that hunting pretty much anything with Jose would be a blast, but his access to social media really should be limited.
Even if you're not into big-game trophy hunting, Canseco is willing to do just about anything for a little companionship, if the price is right.
Come play golf with me and learn about aliens and time traveling— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) February 2, 2019
It's like winning a free trip on the condition that you sit through a tedious timeshare seminar.
Spend the day with Jose come hang out with me ask me questions pick my brain see what I'm really about contact Morgan at 702-374-3735— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) February 2, 2019
Okay, that one is vague and alarming.
When you're in Vegas come and let me teach you the art of power hitting with a baseball and softball contact Morgan at 70237 for 3735— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) February 2, 2019
Well, at least this offer is more in his wheelhouse:
Come step into my world The Twilight Zone the world of Pure Imagination— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) February 13, 2019
Cloning is illegal that's why we cannot evolve into our next stage— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) February 7, 2019
Shit, we're off the rails again.
Stay away from Bitcoin it will go up 8% then rapidly drop 33%— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) February 14, 2019
Please don't let this man anywhere near your portfolio.