Hey, Let's Go Hunt the Elusive Sasquatch with Jose Canseco!

Jose Canseco was eminently qualified to be the next Chief of Staff to the President, but somehow, he was ultimately passed over for the position.

While this is a crushing blow to the country in the macro, it does free up the former MVP to explore his many passions.

For example, there's his continuing search for the elusive Sasquatch -- aka Bigfoot, due to cryptodude's size 20's -- and signs of alien life.

Perhaps Canseco should locate his sanity first.

 

The man who hit 462 career home runs recently took to Twitter with a most unusual offer to his countless fans across the globe:

 

Uh oh.

 

And at a perfectly reasonable $5000 a head, it's quite the bargain.

If we back away slowly and avoid eye contact, we may just get out of here alive.

 

We can probably all agree that hunting pretty much anything with Jose would be a blast, but his access to social media really should be limited.

 

Even if you're not into big-game trophy hunting, Canseco is willing to do just about anything for a little companionship, if the price is right.

 

It's like winning a free trip on the condition that you sit through a tedious timeshare seminar.

 

Okay, that one is vague and alarming.

 

Well, at least this offer is more in his wheelhouse:

 

 

Shit, we're off the rails again.

 

Please don't let this man anywhere near your portfolio.