Apparently, MLB COVID Restrictions Don't Extend to Rookie Clubhouse Hazing
Published on 9-Sep-2020 by Raoul Duke
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For reasons that need not be explained here, this MLB season has been most unusual.
However, as the abbreviated schedule rages on, some things do remain sacred.
You know, like when a rookie gets mercilessly hazed by a gaggle of ornery veteran ballplayers.
Yep, that old chestnut.
Put simply, the Detroit Tigers aren't going to allow a pesky global pandemic to interrupt over a century of misguided, possibly abusive male bonding.
Sergio Alcantara can fill you in on the rest.
What follows is his very first MLB plate appearance:
First Major League hit: ✅— Detroit Tigers (@tigers) September 6, 2020
First Major League home run: ✅
Congratulations Sergio Alcantára! #DetroitRoots pic.twitter.com/57LF5rvJzK
This big league welcome apparently included a room service BP fastball gift wrapped by the petrified remains of Rich Hill, but Alcantara absolutely knew what to do with it.
Clearly, that is one nifty way to begin an MLB career.
Sadly though, this heartwarming tale took a dark turn in the clubhouse afterwards.
Now, a garden-variety rookie hazing usually takes the form of silent treatment in the dugout or perhaps a delicious shaving cream pie to the face during the post-game interview.
That's not what happened here.
According to Sergio, he was placed in a laundry cart and rolled into the communal shower, where his deeply disturbed teammates proceeded to pelt him with items such as, but not limited to, shampoo, taco meat, and mayonnaise.
Shampoo in the shower is at least congruent, but why the taco meat?
Well, maybe we can give them a pass.
Anyway, the good-natured rookie appears to have handled it like a pro.
And if he sticks in the Show long enough, perhaps he can hurl ethnic food at a frightened teammate one day.