USMNT Sends in the Subs to Crush Panama, 0-1

If this Gold Cup Group D match proved anything, it's this:

The Americans have better substitutes than the Panamanians.

Virtually nothing was on the line in this one, as the two squads had already advanced to bracket play, where interchangeabe parts Jamaica and Curaçao would provide the opposition.

 

Then again, there was one other confirmation:

Jozy Altidore still lives:

 

First of all, one of life's mysteries to ESL football fans is the term bicycle kick. Who pedals upside down?

The German description Fallrückzieher -- overhead kick -- is much more logical.

 

This was Altidore's first start for the USA in 20 months, and except for sealing the deal in this lackluster match, it may take some sorta epidemic racing through the roster for him to get another.

In fact, no one really stepped up in a match where manager Gregg Berhalter chose to rest his frontliners for the only match that should really matter to this crew. and that's Mexico.

 

Having said that, El Tri seems to be challenged to stay interested in this tourney's preliminaries, as evidenced by their 3-2 underperformance against Martinique.

And having said that, at least they're not trying to emerge from the shadow of an embarrassing loss to Trinidad & Tobago when a World Cup berth is on the line.

 

It doesn't matter who the Americans beat until they meet Mexico, especially after they came into this tournament off soft losses to Jamaica -- incredibly -- and Venezuela. In that respect, it'd be fitting for them to face La Vinotinto -- red wine; put it up there with bicycle kick -- if they get past Panama in the quarters.

The USA rolled out an entire team of replacements for this Panama match:

 

With the exception of Matt Miazga, who's on loan to Chelsea, that's an MLS family renunion.

Countering that, Los Canaleros -- Canal Men; much more logical -- fielded nine new dudes.

With the exception of Altidore's right place, right time goal, it showed.

 

Good dummy by the ref. He was open but proved to be unselfish.

Here's where it all stands right now:

 

If any USA fan is disingenuous enough to wonder which team's gonna show up in Philadelphia for the quarterfinals, the answer is obvious:

The starters.