England Forced to Kick Its Way into the Quarters

Nothing like celebrating something that never should've happened.

The stats on this Round of 16 match look deceptively even, because England had a much more convincing run of play than Colombia.

Their chances were more dangerous, which only incited Los Cafeteros to double down on their strategy of being ... shall we say? ... scrappy to the point that it ultimately cost them dearly.

So dearly, in fact, it led to England's shootout victory after a 1-1 draw in regulation that sent the English through, not them.

 

Frankly, a major factor in this match was Colombia going into it without their number 10, James Rodríguez, due to injury. So they counted on Radamel Falcao as the main hope.

England, of course, put their offensive chips in the care of the tournament's top scorer, Harry Kane, to advance.

Seems like both sides would've done better to put more stock in some sorta game plan that involved creativity. This match was almost totally devoid of it.

Right from the kickoff, both teams spent 'way too much time taking the measure of each other. The best to say about the 'keepers is their admission was free and it came with a great view.

The underlying theme, though, was that the Colombians were working hard at annoying the English with a chip here and a clip there.

 

Still, what's Jordan Henderson doing, putting a flop at the end of that? If any ref's not gonna respect that act, it's an American who's been criticized in the MLS for being too quick with his red cards.

There's no question Colombia was attempting to influence Mark Geiger's perspective on where the line really was regarding physical play.

It was definitely part of their baiting campaign, but the Three Lions never really bit.

 

As for the second half, England was threatening David Ospina more often and, in the 53rd minute, Carlos Sínchez showed he might have a bright future in either rugby or the NFL by literally tackling Kane down inside of the box.

More to his football training, dude had the brass to dispute it.

No rational onlooker could argue with Geiger's decsion on that one. Kane thus did what he always does:

 

Next time, if there is one, Sínchez should take into account just whom he's molesting.

Picking on a dude who just twined his sixth goal in this tournament was not judicious, even in a match that was always on the edge of spinning outta control.

Speaking of poor decisions, England appeared to figure their job here was done and fell into what was damn near complacency mode.

 

This actually gave Colombia a shot at doing something.

The referee indicated five minutes of additional time and, in the 93rd, Los Cafeteros struck.

Jordan Pickford made an absolutely amazing save on Mateus Uribe's missile from long-range and sent it for a corner. Yerry Mina rose higher than everyone -- and don't think Sweden wasn't taking notes on that -- to equalize the game almost at the last minute.

The game went to extra time, where Colombia carried the action but basically only padded their offensive stats.

England wound up with the beat chance to score:

 

But ultimately, this one came down to penalties, something England manager Gareth Southgate's had his team practice incessantly:

Karma got the better of Jordan Henderson, repaying him for that brutal flop.

After Pickford's acrobatic save on Carlos Bacca, Southgate's earlier substitution of Eric Dier for just this possibility turned out to be golden.

The quarters are now set:

Still lotsa time for surprises.

If the recent past is any indication, they'll show up.