Randy Moss Faux-Signed a Pro Soccer Contract

Randy Moss is now a member of the USL Charlotte Independence.

The former stud wide receiver of the Minnesota Vikings and New England Patriots, among others, is taking up a new sport at the ripe age of 40.

Actually, hold on a second.

It's not true.

Sadly, this was merely an elaborate April Fools' prank pulled off by that wacky madcap Moss, with an assist from the Charlotte franchise of the almost completely obscure United Soccer League.

In fact, the subterfuge involved a coded message within the official press release that actually said April Fools.

Ah, what a complex web of deceit.

Moss has played a little soccer in the past, so this wasn't completely out of the box.

But no, it's just not to be.

It's probably best to remember Moss playing his chosen sport at a very high level.

Sweet.