Isaiah Crowell Turns His Ass-Wiping TD Celebration into an Endorsement Deal

In what may very well be yet another sign of the apocalypse, Isaiah Crowell has somehow managed to profit from pretending to wipe his ass with a football during an NFL game.

Yep, the end is most definitely near.

A couple of weeks ago, the reliably hapless New York Jets gave the Cleveland Browns their first regular season victory in like a decade or so.

Despite his team's misfortune, Crowell had himself quite a night against his former squad, scoring not one but two touchdowns.

 

This is where things get a bit surreal, though.

After his second score, this wonderfully strange dude went well off-topic:

 

Hmmm, that football isn't exactly cotton soft, or even scented, for that matter.

Anyway, the flags were flying after that lovely display, although the prudish Joe Buck did manage to stifle most of his disgust this time:

 

Crowell received a fine in the amount of $13,369, in addition to a lecture from head coach Todd Bowles.

However, sometimes in this life, the good guys do triumph over evil.

Yes, this story has a happy ending. Our hero has agreed to an endorsement deal with the fine folks at Dude Wipes, an actual company that apparently provides flushable wipes for men.

 

Well, that's just adorable, although Browns fans probably didn't find it all that cute.

The mind reels at what Crowell may have in store for us the next time he visits the endzone.

In the meantime, lets wish him luck in his new endeavor.

 

Hopefully, Crowell is a bit more tactful with the Dude Wipes people.