Honestly, Christian Hackenberg Should Really Just Stop Playing Competitive Football

Apparently, Christian Hackenberg won't be content until he fails miserably in every single professional football league.

Really, if you have the funds and motivation to start a new league, this dude will come play QB poorly in it.

The former New York Jets' 2016 second-round pick washed out of the NFL with extreme prejudice, having never played a single down in a regular season game.

But much to the chagrin of literally everyone, the proud Penn State product has resurfaced in this wacky new spring fling called the Alliance of American Football.

 

Yes, the Hack is back, suiting up for something called the Memphis Showboats, whose head coach is somehow Mike Singletary.

Wrap your mind around that reality for a moment.

 

That sobering fact probably tells us all we need to know about this new league, but Coach Singletary knows talent, and as such, named Hackenberg his starting QB.

Well now, let's have a look:

 

Audible sigh.

 

Seriously, if anyone out there cares about this man at all, they really should consider some sort of formal intervention.

 

Well, perhaps a bit more formal than that.

Coach Singletary was shockingly patient with Hackenberg, but finally pulled the plug at halftime of his third start, replacing him with the immortal Zach Mettenberger.

During his brief tenure as the Showboats' slinger, the dude who should retire from professional football this very moment tossed three picks and scored exactly zero touchdowns.

 

With all due respect to young Christian, it's time to consider an occupation that isn't quite so public and doesn't require as much talent.

 

We did say it, so it's okay.