Cody Parkey Conducts a Secret Public Night Practice Kicking Session

Cody Parkey experienced a waking nightmare last Sunday at Soldier Field.

The Bears specialist missed two field goals and two extra points against the Detroit Lions, but it was the nature of these misses that defied all logic and reason.

Each of these kicks somehow doinked off an upright, confounding everyone in attendance.

Check this shit out:

 

Simply stunning.

 

After this debacle, it was revealed that Parkey doesn't actually practice kicking at Soldier Field during the week, 

According to the $15million man, this is due to a logistical problem, as traffic in Chicago can be a real bitch.

 

Well, he probably ran into that parade.

Anyway, it'd obviously be helpful to understand the complex wind patterns of Soldier Field, which of course is located right next to an actual lake.

In an effort to figure this out, the Bears arranged a private night kicking session for Parkey.

However, it quickly turned public.

 

Apparently, the Bears organization failed to secure the airspace above Soldier Field, as a local news chopper circled overhead as Parkey practiced under the cover of darkness.

Feedback from the session was positive, though.

 

Reportedly, there was little to no clanking, so that's progress.

Also, the daughter of the dean wasn't in attendance.

 

Or Mitch Comstein.