Adam Gase Frightens the New York Media with His Crazy Eyes

The New York Jets introduced Adam Gase as their new head coach on Monday.

They also may have inadvertently hired a deranged serial killer.

The obligatory press conference that officially ushered in the Gase era in New York wasn't your garden variety presser.

By all means, let's have a look at the man who the Jets organization just empowerered to boldly guide the franchise into the future:

 

Oh boy, something has gone terribly, terribly wrong.

 

Indeed, it does appear that the Adam Gase replicant was malfunctioning or had literally just received further instructions from his home planet that were violently hard-wired into his mind portal.

This disturbance in the force was visible throughout the terrifying ordeal.

 

While many folks just assumed that the crazy eyes were a logical byproduct of an intense drug episode, an actual doctor quickly debunked this theory.

 

The fact dude was probably just nervous is perfectly logical, although it may not inspire much confidence amongst the Jets' long-suffering fan base.

According to an ESPN reporter, the former Dolphins coach did this shit in Miami as well, so maybe he's just abnormally intense.

Perhaps some peaceful gardening at home might relax the obviously stressed-out Gase.

 

Anyway, he's probably not a serial killer.

 

Although he may still nut in your eye.