Welcome to Mr Walton's Wonder Emporium
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What America needs right now is a Bill Walton talk show.
Actually, guests wouldn't even be necessary, as the big guy is fully capable of keeping it weird all by himself.
The sole advocate for Barack Obama becoming the next head basketball coach at UCLA has been in rare form all season, dazzling ESPN viewers and befuddled partner Dave Pasch with his endearing brand of crazy.
While Bill consistently maintains a high bar of insanity, he may have topped himself during a recent broadcast.
Pasch was celebrating his birthday, and giving this aging hippie access to fire isn't prudent under any circumstances.
Here is the ESPN reboot of Fear Factor:
Well, that was a thing that happened.
Indeed, it seems that Walton will literally do anything suggested out loud, even in jest.
Actually, he didn't create it, but let's not argue semantics.
The most alarming development here is that Pasch is still able to register surprise at these antics.
While we agree that fire is in fact bad, Walton did manage to consume the fire and most of the cupcake without burning down the arena.
This time, anyway.