The Many Dead Horses of Johnny Cueto

Published on 17-Feb-2019 by Raoul Duke

MLB    MLB Daily Review

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The Many Dead Horses of Johnny Cueto

Johnny Cueto is widely regarded as a perfectly competent MLB pitcher.

However, there's more to this dude than just baseball.

One of his numerous outside interests would be the keeping of horses, which must bring him immeasurable joy.

Sadly though, all is not well in the world of Johnny Cueto on this day.


Yes, Cueto's cherished Popeye has shuffled off this mortal coil much too soon.

We know this because Johnny shared a photo of his dead horse on social media, perhaps thinking this would expedite the healing process.


That was so not helpful.


While this may be cathartic for Cueto, the rest of the civilized world could've managed just fine without that visual.


A more productive way to cope with this loss should be focusing our collective energy on eradicating the poisonous grasshoppers that killed our beloved Popeye.


That's right, whatever it takes.

Incredibly, this exact same scenario played out back in 2016, except this version of Popeye was white.


We'll spare you that photo collage.


Anyway, we can take some solace in the fact that Cueto hasn't been photographed beating a dead horse.

Sorry, had to do it.