Take Up Arms: Texas Rangers' Wave Warnings too Whimsical to Work

The Texas Rangers have had a few concerns on the diamond this season.

But it's the capering in the bleachers that's really getting on their goad.

Led by Chuck Morgan, executive vice president of Stop that Sh*t Right Now, the Rangers have been issuing "warnings" to fans in an effort to stave off the infamous Wave. A recent example was authorized by LeBron James' quads:

The Republic of Texas Constitution written in 1836 states: A facility has the right, when playing a team from Miami, to turn off the air conditioning in the facility. If the Wave continues, the AC will be turned off here tonight.

"We've done this for four or five years," Morgan huffed. "I get hundreds of tweets from fans to stop the Wave. I'm a guy that says that anyone can come to the ballpark and do whatever he wants, as long as he doesn't offend anyone around him. But there's some feedback I've gotten from players that there are better times to do it. You can't stop it, but we can have some fun with it."

Au contraire, Texas Rangers. You can stop it. You just need to get serious.

Here are some messages we here at The Daily Player have put together for your benefit:

- If the wave continues, you may receive a Darwin Award.

- If the wave continues, George W Bush will take over from Ron Washington as manager.

- If the wave continues, Yu Darvish will throw left-handed.

- If the wave continues, you will go to the DL.