Mike Fiers' Beard Is Filled with Wonder and Whimsy

Mike Fiers has had himself a decent MLB career, sticking around for nine seasons with four different teams.
Hell, dude's actually tossed two no-hitters, which is pretty remarkable, statistically speaking.
But when his baseball obituary is finally written, the first sentence will have to mention the beard.
In case you've yet to pay your respects, we'll show it to you now:
If you can’t find your girl, and she ain’t responding to your messages, it’s because Mike Fiers is with her. This guy and his beard are def laying pipe all over Oakland. pic.twitter.com/0vJ3gqXOoV
— Sports with Facts (@sportswithfacts) September 15, 2019
That damn thing is practically a religion.
Of course, it turns out Fiers shaved his beard into the letter G on a dare from his A’s teammates, but we'd much prefer to believe the inspiration was derived from some divine entity.
— B.B. Lean (@__jcw__) September 15, 2019
See, others have taken up the cause.
That’s not a g, that’s a monkey tail
— nick (@wheresfleat) September 15, 2019
It's even stimulated debate.
Therapist: Mike Fiers' beard can't hurt you
— thomas (@thomasochist) September 15, 2019
Mike Fiers' beard: pic.twitter.com/BMV01gtIVV
There's no way baseball can get less cool.
— SportsPickle (@sportspickle) September 15, 2019
Mike Fiers: "Hold my beard." https://t.co/7nKI71rEix
Dude's showing us a better way.
Sadly, the mysterious growth vanished as quickly as it appeared.
But the legend only grows.