Joey Gallo and Nomar Mazara Have Decided to Retire the Celebratory Crotch Grab
The Texas Rangers aren't particularly good at baseball.
However, they do like to keep it weird.
In a recent game against the Angels, Gallo blasted a two-run jack with Mazara on base, setting up this brilliant piece of performance art:
Now that's true intimacy.
We should also acknowledge the exhaustive analysis of two men fondling one another in public provided by ET Canada, because where else would you go for this sort of thing?
Predictably, the Internet weighed in on the subject:
They are ruining baseball! 😉— 𝘓𝘪𝘻 𝘚𝘢𝘷𝘢𝘨𝘦 (@lizsavage) April 8, 2019
Next thing you know they will come up to bat with a lollipop in their mouth 😂— Anthony (@FozzyJudas) April 8, 2019
Hold the butter.
However, it appears we won't be seeing this male-genitalia-themed celebration any longer, as the dynamic duo will apparently be retiring this particular act, for somewhat mysterious reasons.
And an entire nation weeps in unison.
Sadly, this baseball creativity will now go the way of the dick bump.