Ex Box: Tiger Woods Ousted from EA Sports, Will Remain in Cheat Sheets
The recent news that Tiger Woods will no longer grace the cover of EA Sports' golf offering -- indeed, may not occupy a single pixel of the video game -- had many a sports business brainiac (and Darren Rovell) pontificating over the implications.
Could a next-gen EA Sports golf caper survive with Jason Dufner on the cover?
Will Tiger go to Atari?
Would every future Woods simulation see him choke away a Major?
While these questions may not be answered for some time, one bunkered poser has at least been flopped out of the sand and onto the dance floor:
Tiger will continue to figure prominently in the cheat sheets.
How do we know? Brandel Chamblee, the Golf Channel's resident Comic Book Store Guy, has observed the precedent:
"When I was in the fourth grade, I cheated on a Galaga bonus screen, and when I got to the end, it had '100' at the top and just below the score was this quote: 'Oh, what a tangled web we weave when first we joystick to deceive!' ... The game's message was clear. Beneath that quote was my score of '100', but this time with a line drawn through it and beneath that an 'F' ..."
"In offering my assessment of Tiger 2K13 and specifically looking at the incidents ... Tiger Woods was cavalier about the rules ..."
"My job as a gamer requires me to analyze and offer my opinions. I'd like to think I'm pretty good at it. Tiger is the best EA Sports golfer by miles. Maybe the best of all time. And over the years, I have said a lot of positive things about Tiger's robot swing and his accomplishments and at times I've been critical, but that's my job and my obligation to the gamer."
Rock on, Brandel. Cheaters never prosper.
Except when they perform a simulated apology.